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Published 17:53 26 Oct 2016 BST
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5. I'm happy enough with FaceTime and Snapchat filters, to be honest. I don't need technology to progress any further, thanks anyway.
6. Just going to delete my Facebook search history because if I ever go missing, they're going to think I was an absolute creep.
7. Domnhall Gleeson is in everything. He is also a massive would.
8. What the fuuuuuuuck just happened? This show is nuts but I love it and I will continue to watch it until I can no longer function as an acceptable human being.
9. Charlie Brooker is a sick, perverted creep to come up with this kind of stuff. But I am also in awe of his brain.
10. Lord above there's more twists than a pretzel on this show.
11. They say that violence in Playstation games is contributing to real life violence but I'd nearly be pointing the finger at Black Mirror now at this stage.
12. I am legitimately terrified of technology.
13. I should tweet about this. Actually no, that's exactly what "they" want me to do.
14. I wish we could rate people out of 5 stars in real life. Maybe arseholes would stop being arseholes.
15. Yeah well I'm definitely never getting contact lenses anyway. I will be a four eyes until I die.
16. Just going to quickly delete my search history, then set fire to my laptop and bury it at the bottom of the ocean. You can never be too careful with that sort of stuff.


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