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Published 13:49 18 Nov 2018 GMT
Updated 16:09 18 Nov 2018 GMT
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“I was a sad, pathetic person,” she says. “I was out of control.”Mel says that she would wake up in the morning and snort two lines of cocaine just to make it through the day.
“Then I would pray, ‘God, I’m sorry for taking cocaine, but please God help me get through this day’. “It numbed my pain. It lifted me up enough to be ready to fire on all cylinders and forget about everything but the show.”
Things were at there worst for Mel B during her abusive ten-year marriage to Stephen Belafonte but escalated when the heavy work-commitments of the reality show became too much for her.
“On so many levels I felt myself sinking. I had a routine. I was ashamed of what I was doing, but I felt I had to have it. “I told myself God would understand and forgive me because he could see through all the glitter and the crap. “He could see me – the mess. And cocaine could help that mess. Just for now. It numbed my pain.”Mel and Stephen were married in 2007 just a short while after she split from Eddie Murphy. The pair split in December 2016 with their divorce being finalised just a year later.
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