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Published 16:00 29 Aug 2014 BST
Updated 09:02 29 Aug 2014 BST
4. Nor did you make a make-up appointment.
"Mam, you need to help me. You need to make this look as professional as possible."
5. You did NOT test the fake tan before you put it on.
God, they really meant oompa loompa when they said it, didn't they?
6. You don't have a strapless bra.
Oh, but you have a strapless dress, don't you? But you definitely HAD a strapless bra.
7. You bought your dress at the start of the summer, but you ate some extra ice-cream.
Oh God, did the zip just pop? Well if Liz Hurley can pull of the safety pin look, anyone can.

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